Fact: Mistakes Are Necessary and Even Good

      1 Comment on Fact: Mistakes Are Necessary and Even Good


Everyone hates making mistakes.  Nothing new.  But here’s a friendly reminder: without the mistakes we’ve made in our lives how could we ever learn, how could we grow intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally?  The answer is that we wouldn’t grow, at least not very well.

That’s the problem with drugs and substances, and addictions in general, dear reader.  And yes, I speak from personal experience.  All substances, all addictions become what they are because they insulate us (at the moment) from dealing with whatever reality (life issue) we are trying to avoid, consciously or subconsciously, at the time.  What I mean by this is that when life gets stressful, when a problem arises in a family, or in a relationship at work, at school, we are inclined to do what we can at that moment to avoid that stress/anxiety/pain.  For those who are well-adjusted, this could look like going on a run, calling a family friend, or even journaling about the situation.  But for those still learning how to adjust, it may be turning to a bottle of wine, or binge eating, or viewing pornography.  Because whatever that thing is, it acts as a drug – it medicates us out of the pressure of dealing with that immediate problem.  It sedates us.

Now this seems okay in the moment, because hey, you feel better, and you didn’t have to deal with that problem.  But in reality, as we all know, the drugs, the eating, the masturbation, didn’t deal with the problem at all, it didn’t make the problem go away; it merely distracted us temporarily.  The problem is complicated, two-fold.  First, the unaddressed problem has likely gotten worse during our time of distraction.  But even worse is that with repeated use, we’ve trained ourselves that instead of having to face a problem and constructively address and even fix that problem – which takes maturity, discipline, patience, compassion (difficult virtues to attain) – we abuse pot, gambling, eating, sex, ourselves, others, _______ (fill in the blank).

We stunt our growth, we retard our growth, we literally disable ourselves when we choose the bad behavior, the medication, the addict, over the right response, the healthy choice, which is choosing the unaltered reality of life with all its hurts, harms, mistakes, and messiness.

20151023_182622So this first step is being aware that all of those mistakes from our past, even the mistakes from today, are there to help us make better choices now.  We cannot be afraid of mistakes or ashamed of them (though this is not to say that we shouldn’t be ashamed of our sins, insofar as we do not wish to repeat them), we must simply learn from our mistakes.

In conclusion, what it means to grow into adulthood is just that choice on a day-by-day basis to deal head on with life’s problems.  This is how we grow and mature, regardless of – in fact because of – the mistakes we make along the way.


You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.

– Henri Frederic Amiel

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About Jeremy

Glad to have a second chance on life, by God's grace.

One thought on “Fact: Mistakes Are Necessary and Even Good

  1. Jeremy Post author

    “They neglect to tell you that after the urge to get high magically vanishes and you’ve been Substanceless for maybe six or eight months, you’ll begin to start to ‘Get In Touch’ with why it was that you used Substances in the first place. You’ll start to feel why it was you got dependent on what was, when you get right down to it, an anesthetic. ‘Getting In Touch With Your Feelings’ is another quilted-sampler-type cliche that ends up masking something ghastly deep and real, it turns out. It starts to turn out that the vapider the AA cliche, the sharper the canines of the real truth it covers.”

    ~ David Foster Wallace
    Infinite Jest
    pg. 446


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